sitting comfortably in the reg

Am I bored? am I boring? i guess im bored. since my mind is fairly blank but i want to to be otherwise. maybe i am in that awful place where there is nothing i want to do? actually no.
i am wrong, i am not bored. or at least not anymore. writing here really worked . also there is something i want to do. i want to walk outside. i want to walk and walk and walk. but that is not stopping me from sitting here half dead. I guess i just cant leave the reg.

problem with writing in the reg is i am afraid people will see and ask what i am doing. i really don't want people to know about this blog.

But you know what this is good, i need to write anyways, regardless of this possibility. fuck that lame fear.

 (staring off onto space tapping my shoes)

Quite a few friends have expressed fear of a mythos. fear of a reputation which permeates across the board among even those they do not know. A fear that people will have a preconceived notion of them before even meeting them. I have never worried about this. I don't know why.

It seems like a legit thing to worry about. I mean what if you fail to meet or developed a close friendship with someone because they thought all these things about you before you even met? That would suck. still the thought of it does not phase me at all. Not sure why.

maybe i am just that arrogant: if someone is swayed by preconceived notions they are not worth my snot?
Maybe i am just not capable of imagining what the preconceived notions of me could possibly be?
Weird.

This is something i am do worry about very much which is actually very similar, but completely different. I worry that people, specifically people i know well and consider good friends, will misunderstand me.  I worry that I am incapable of expressing what i mean, and that it will always come out twisted. you see the difference right? i hope so since i find it too boring to go into.

You know Glen has great insight. he understands me quite well. i asked him once how he would describe me, and he said noble but ultimately misunderstood. well at least he understand how misunderstood i feel all the time. he also said something else which i think fits me very well. he called me a diva. its pretty funny but in this weird way has this great truth to it.  

well that enough rambling for now.