Rain

The other night coming back, from china town with some friends, it began to rain. It was mildly chilly outside, not very cold, but cold enough for you to feel it: a refreshing cold. we made our way to the bus stop, my friends ran ahead to escape the rain. For some reason or another i felt glad to walk though the rain, and almost a little disappointed the bus stop had a roof. The onslaught of water pellets hitting me did not seem malicious to me.

well, soon we reached to stop. no more rain, the onslaught is blocked perfectly by a curved roof. standing in the shelter I saw the rain in the light of the streetlights. It was pouring at such beautiful slant. A beautiful sight indeed. But a buetiffull sight was not good enough for me, I wanted more, I wanted a beutifull feel, a beautiful sensation. And with this want to feel came a want to walk out of the shelter into the rain. And so all of the sudden an overwhelming desire came over me, but at the same moment a few thoughts and rationalizations came to me. " if i walk out there i will get extremely wet and cold( for it was quite cold) and so while it might feel nice for a while soon you will be cold and miserable, and then on the bus with air conditions even colder and more miserable, on top of that i might get sick, i should not do this." and it was true i should not have done it.

First I walked to the edge of the shelter, peering out. Then I walked out and back in a few times. Indecisiveness. terrible indecisiveness. And then it hit me all at once, I WANT to do this. I have a strong desire. That is not something to be taken lightly.  Such a desire and situation is a rare thing, a thing to be cherished. And so it was decided. I walked straight out into the rain...

And ah. ah i was right. It felt beautiful. I was in awe. Standing still did not feel right so i began to pace. my god all the little things, on the ground. on the ground was the refection of a streetlight on a thin layer of water, but further, the rain was falling on it. The rain caused the light to spring out, sparking and shouting. and while my attention was caught on this the onslaught continued. Gradations of cold all over my body. The beat of the water pelting down on me. Such beauty, and not just beauty of sight, but beauty of feeling. Touch was not the only extra sense, I could also taste and smell the rain and hear the rushing of the wind.
So there i was hands in my pocket, in the rain, steering at the ground. come to think of it it probably looked like I was sad and/or depressed. But just the opposite was true. Joy and beauty.
in some time i lift my head and see...colors. All i see is circles and blurs of yellow, white and red. my glasses are covered in water producing an amazing effect coupled with the streetlights. The color were not random either, above was yellow, bellow white and in the periphery a few reds and the black of the night. and all the while the onslaught continues. Some time later i look straight up at the sky. I can the the rain drops as the fall flying down. and beyond that back and gray cloudy sky. the pellets now hit my face directly. they are harsh but at the same time somehow soft and inviting. And so I paced back and forth enjoying every aspect of the rain for the 45 minutes it took for us to find a way home.
At one point a friend tried to stop me and pull me inside. Suffice to say I resisted and wold have fought to the death to protect my experience, my joy, my beautiful feeling.   


Thinking back on this, I believe it was a manifestation of things to come. A representation of an important aspect of life. A lesson. So, it would be safe to say, I have decided to walk out into the rain whenever an opportunity arises.